Dealing with Political Stress as a Parent
Parenting can be overwhelming by itself. Today’s rapidly spinning news cycles can add to the stress - leaving you emotionally depleted.
It's Thursday night, dinnertime. Your phone dings with an anxiety-producing headline, then an email from your boss, then a reminder of a kid's birthday party this weekend that you haven't bought a present for yet.
Your youngest child is crying because you purchased the "wrong" chicken nuggets.
Your oldest can't find their basketball shorts for practice in an hour.
The kitchen table is covered in papers, like that field trip form that needs to be signed and a flyer from school about the dress-up days requiring full costumes next week.
Your partner is running late coming home from work, and the kids' TV show sounds incredibly loud.
As parents, how do we stay regulated in the dysregulation that surrounds us?
Take Charge of Your Own Emotion Regulation
So often, parents are used to doing the exact opposite: taking care of everyone else before considering your own needs - if there's time.
Put on your own oxygen mask first. Give yourself permission to tell your family, "I am stressed; I need to go for a walk." "I'm feeling overwhelmed; I'm going to step out on the porch and take a few deep breaths." Not only will this help you self-regulate, but it will also model for your kids how to cope with difficult emotions.
This works best if you are proactive, meaning you care for your needs before your energy depletes. Make time for the things that fill your bucket, increase your dopamine, and release stress (even if it’s in small doses).
What helps you recharge? A calming playlist or funny podcast on your commute? A quick jog or virtual exercise class on your lunch hour? A reading break that doesn’t involve the news? An artistic outlet? What is something you keep pushing off your schedule but you wish were non-negotiable?
Let Your Romantic Relationship Support You
Yes, easier said than done. Nothing to dim the flame of romance like the regular, almost too predictable interruptions by a child calling you from the other room. As the day ends, and everyone is going to bed, your energy has been depleted.
If you have a partner, set aside special "date night" time for yourselves and set the expectation – No kid talk. Don't let date night slide into talk of sports schedules and venting about their behaviors.
Reconnect with the parts of yourselves that are not parenting-related. What interests make each of you you. What do you connect on?
Additional tip: Many couples are more successful with a “date lunch” while school is in session. No fancy restaurant or large spending necessary. Brown bag lunch? Keep it casual. The focus is on you.
Separately, set up regular times to focus on the family's business: kids' schedules, your workload, and what each of you needs that week. Find ways to share the mental load of the family. If navigating this feels like a barrier, consider working with a couples counselor to reconnect, improve communication, and navigate these new roles.
Identify Your Village
We don't all live in small, tight-knit communities or close to extended family. Where are the people who support you?
Can you partner with friends or neighbors to trade off childcare, grab a coffee, join a book club with like-minded friends, or meet an old friend for a walk or game of pickleball?
Our culture tells us not to bother others. But wouldn't you feel appreciated if a friend asked to spend time with you? Something that might not add much to your workload might be of tremendous help to a friend - and vice versa!
Even a little help goes a long way when your plate is full. Conversely, returning the favor will help you feel connected and supported.
Don’t Underestimate The Power Of Family Quality Time
Anxious minds try to keep us in a constant state of business and productivity. Healthy relationships reduce anxiety and turn your focus on the things you can control.
How can you slow down enough to spend quality time with family? Dr. Becky Kennedy of Good Inside recommends "play-no-phone" time, an intentional time set aside to be with your kids while phones and other distractions are put away.
Smartphones have become such an integral part of our lives that not having them on us can feel stressful, almost like withdrawal symptoms. But time spent focusing on the relationship with your family will positively affect all other interactions in the home.
And, not only will you increase the connection with each other, but you will also model healthy relationships with screens for your children. Get outside together or engage them in conversation on car rides. Just 20 minutes spent playing cards or joining your kids in making art can make a big difference for everyone involved. Make your home and your relationship the safe place from which they can explore their growing worlds.
Discover Ways You Can Make a Positive Impact
The speed of the news cycle can overwhelm you, leaving you feeling powerless and hopeless. Limit your consumption of the news to certain times of the day. It might help to turn off any stress-inducing notifications on your phone. Staying informed is important. But what can you actually do?
Determine which issues you care about the most and focus on how you can make a difference in that area. Maybe try googling “What can I do about…?” You might find that there are practical ways in which your help is needed in your community.
Specific actions will move you from focusing on the overwhelming problem to feeling part of the solution. If you care about your carbon footprint, find practical ways to reduce it. It could be meatless Monday or avoiding single-use plastics.
Most importantly, know that you don't need to go far to make a difference for others. An encouraging word, a friendly greeting, or even genuine flattery can make someone's day. We can't all do it all, but we can all do something.
What Can You Do In This Political Climate?
Navigating the fast-paced news cycle can be challenging, but by taking intentional steps to limit exposure and focusing on specific issues that resonate with you, you can regain a sense of control and purpose.
Engaging with your community, even by making small, mindful choices in your daily life can help you regain a sense of control. You can’t solve the world’s problems but you can make a world of a difference for those around you.
Every little effort counts. Even the simplest act of kindness can create ripples of change. We may not be able to solve every problem, but together, we can make meaningful progress, inspiring hope and connection in our lives and the lives of others.
But remember, an empty battery is useless. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So first of all, take care of yourself. Talk to a close friend or your life partner about any changes you want to make. Together, you can problem-solve around barriers that need to be removed or boundaries that need to be set. When you become overwhelmed, slow yourself down. Mindful intention will get you back on track.
Ruth Saunders is a Resident in Counseling and a Licensed School Counselor, who uses Play Therapy to connect with kids in therapy, and Client-Centered Therapy in counseling adults. Ruth works with children, teens, adults, and families navigating life's challenges. She offers limited sliding scale slots for in-person counseling in Richmond, VA or online therapy sessions for clients across Virginia.