On Pop Psychology: Are You Misusing these Mental Health Terms?
Every so often (actually quite often if I’m being honest) a mental health term or concept makes its way into the collective discussion and catches fire. It’ll hit the ‘gram or other social media and before you know it everybody has a hot take on the idea. And just like any game of telephone, the original idea becomes diluted amid the ongoing conversation, and meaning of the concept is lost, misunderstood, or inaccurately used. Take a look and see if you recognize any of the following…
Often Misused Pop-Psychology Term: “Gaslighting”
Over the past two to three years, the term “gaslighting" has had its heyday. The term “gaslight” is not an official DSM diagnosis. It originated following the release of the popular 1940s film “Gaslight” in which a wealthy married man purposefully attempts to confuse and ultimately brainwash his unsuspecting wife by consistently causing her to question her reality.
While the original meaning of the term describes a systematic and deliberate pattern of emotional manipulation, it has unfortunately come to serve as a stand-in for instances wherein brief misunderstandings, poor communication, or differing perceptions occur between couples.
Gaslighting is a purposeful, repeated attempt at manipulating your partner’s reality by describing their behavior or emotional responses as “irrational” (i.e “You made me do this,” “You’re crazy” “That was a joke, stop overreacting”) and can do untold amounts of damage to both a relationship and the mental health of the victim.
However, it’s important to recognize that miscommunication or having a differing perspective or experience than your partner is a common life occurrence. Expressing that you’ve had a different experience than your partner is a healthy form of communication (i.e. “I hear you saying you weren’t angry, but that wasn’t my experience,” “That wasn’t what I heard you saying, I understood your statement differently”) and healthy relationship dynamics should regularly include correcting misunderstandings.
Clarifying unclear statements or expressing such differences are part of healthy communication and problem solving, whether practiced at home or with the help of a couple’s therapist.
Often Misused Pop-Psychology Term: “Boundaries”
This word came to prominence during the summer of 2023, and continues to creep along the edges of everyday conversations. Like “gaslighting”, “boundaries” is another mental health concept not always understood.
While this term has sometimes been used as a method of controlling other people’s behaviors, boundaries are actually an expression of what a person will and won’t accept. Telling your partner “We’re not going grocery shopping on Sunday mornings, that’s my boundary,” isn’t a boundary. However, stating “I don’t want to go grocery shopping on Sunday mornings, because I plan on sleeping in. I’ll go on Sunday afternoon” is a clear expression of what you will agree to do without attempting to exercise control over another person. Boundaries are for you, and not other people, and developing the skills necessary to implement and maintain them are often a part of counseling and therapy.
Often Misused Pop-Psychology Term: “Narcissist/Narcissism”
There are several of these misunderstood terms, but this one happens to be my favorite. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has been a staple of personality disorders since the early days of mental health. It involves a grandiose self, an exaggerated sense of self importance, and a propensity toward controlling or dominating social or other situations. Surprisingly, NPD includes a “vulnerable” side that may also include poor self esteem, sensitivity to criticism, and lack of identity and selfishness.
In essence, whether demonstrated as grandiose or self loathing, narcissism at its core is an extreme preoccupation with oneself at the expense of considering others.
However an important element to remember is that many mental health diagnoses occur on a spectrum, and experiencing several symptom criteria is necessary before a person meets that threshold. Meaning, any person can display selfishness during any given scenario, however isolated displays of selfish behavior don’t not indicate that a person can be labeled a narcissist or even meet the clinical threshold for a personality disorder diagnosis.
Whether a person displays occasional selfishness or meets the threshold for a diagnosis, speaking with a therapist can help the individual obtain a better quality of life and help them improve their relationships.
Often Misused Pop-Psychology Term: “Bipolar”
Commonly known as Bipolar Disorder, this term has become drastically overused and remains misunderstood. While often used to describe swift changes in mood or obvious indecisiveness, Bipolar disorder is neither.
Previously known as “manic depressive”, Bipolar Disorder is a mental health diagnosis that includes, but isn’t limited to, experiencing euphoria, impulsivity, grandiose ideas (think of the librarian who suddenly decides they’re the perfect candidate for state senate and begins making plans for their campaign the following day, or the data analyst who wakes up and says to herself “Wow, I feel so great, this is the perfect time to buy a Tesla or three.”)
Other forms of Bipolar disorder involve experiences of depression. Oftentimes these changes last for days, even weeks. Those diagnosed with this condition suffer incredibly, but can make significant recovery with the help of mental health providers.
So while your friend may struggle to make decisions or may seem to vacillate between sadness and irritability, “bipolar” may not be the most accurate description of their experience.
The Bright Side of Pop-Psychology: Normalizing Mental Health
Whether through ads for meditation apps or the myriad of tiktoks and instagram posts, the jargon of psychology and mental health has made its way into common discussion like the new popular kid arriving at a party. In many ways this change is great. When LeBron James, Lady Gaga, or other public figures discuss their mental health, it opens the door for others to share their struggles and normalizes the experience, ultimately reducing the longstanding stigma surrounding mental health.
As we continue to reduce stigma, it’s just as important to have an accurate understanding of mental health concepts, and, in turn, demonstrate responsibility and compassion toward others along the way.
LaunchPad Counseling is a therapy practice for children and adults who want to improve their mental health. We offer In-Person therapy in Richmond VA, and Online Counseling across Virginia. If we can be of help to you, please reach out!
