5 Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy
When you think of the words “Counseling” or “Therapy” what comes to mind?
Most likely you’re conjuring images of a quiet, serene office with hundreds of books, a quality rug, plants galore, and cardigan sweaters for every day of the week (I might just be describing a few aspects of my own office, who knows).
Maybe you picture your therapist sitting across from you, earnestly listening to your every sentence, and validating your emotions and thoughts with tremendous gusto.
You leave every session feeling bright, shiny, and refreshed.
Right? Not exactly.
Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy #1: It’s Not Always Your Childhood, But Sometimes It Is
At one point you may have thought “Isn’t therapy just talking about my childhood? Hard pass on that.”
But if you pictured Sigmund Freud when reading the beginning of this post, well done. Among his many contributions to psychology, the grandfather of modern therapy posed the idea that many mental health diagnoses resulted from the relationship between child and parent.
While there’s plenty of truth to this idea, it isn’t always the case. You’ll find that plenty of therapists may not ever bring up a client’s childhood experiences and may focus exclusively on the present.
Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy #2: Therapy Doesn’t Always Feel Good
Yep, I said it. Shocked? I get it. Despite the fact that therapy is designed to offer emotional support, improve mental health, and help people better understand themselves, it doesn’t always mean that you’ll leave every session feeling encouraged or enlightened.
To say that therapy can be complicated is an understatement. It’s a space where people not only discuss their successes, but also their greatest failures, disappointments, and biggest fears.
In fact, there may be moments wherein doubt or worry command a session, and sometimes you might leave your therapist’s office with more questions than answers.
These experiences are normal and they don’t mean that you’re doing therapy “wrong”. In fact, taking the time to reflect on your difficult emotions and returning to the next session to discuss them can help the process move along.
Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy #3: Therapy Can Be a Short Process. It Can Also Be Long. It Can Pause. It Can Resume.
Everybody’s journey in therapy is different, and sometimes the focus of treatment may change. Some people may come to therapy with a specific goal in mind, like not worrying and overthinking so much. Or they feel like maybe the stress they feel every day is more than just normal stress. Others may dig deeper into their pasts with the intent of resolving traumas and living without the symptoms of PTSD. Those with addiction concerns may seek substance abuse treatment.
Each of those cases will require an approach tailored to the individual and their specific needs. So while your friend might have completed their treatment in four months, your needs may demand an entire year.
Additionally, there may be moments where treatment is paused due to life circumstances or to give you opportunity to practice learned skills. And on occasion you may find that after successfully completing your mental health goals, you might again reach out to your therapist for a tune up if you find yourself blown off course.
Again, this doesn’t indicate that you’re doing therapy “wrong”.
The length of your treatment isn’t a race to the finish line, your therapy is yours alone.
Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy #4: You Might Not Always like Your Therapist
“How could this be possible?” Sacrilege, right? Not always.
Growth requires change, and change isn’t always easy. Self reflection can be hard, and is often a challenge. Therapists want their clients to grow and accomplish their mental health goals, and sometimes that requires asking questions and delving into territory that clients may want to avoid, occasionally to their great displeasure.
Beyond that, one may experience “transference”, a common therapy phenomenon wherein a client may view their therapist as a stand-in for an important person in their life.
For instance, a client struggling with a rocky past relationship with their father may come to project their negative feelings about that connection onto their therapist.
In any case, talking with your therapist about these potentially uncomfortable situations is an effective way to clear the air, gain understanding, and practice expressing yourself so that your journey can continue.
Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy #5: Therapy is Supposed to End
Yup. It’s not supposed to last forever. Just like any connection, the client-therapist relationship will have an end point.
You might enjoy talking with your therapist and gain a great satisfaction with each small step toward healing, but mental health treatment isn’t intended to last forever.
Your therapist may have been your biggest support when you had nobody else, or they might have known your deepest secrets. But remembering that your goal is to improve your overall mental health with your therapist’s support can help you adjust to life without weekly sessions on the calendar.
Keeping the endpoint of therapy in mind can help you process any feelings of grief you may have when therapy begins to wind down. And discussing the process of ending with your therapist is a healthy way to manage the termination process.
This sadness is completely appropriate - after all, therapy is an intimate relationship.
Things You Didn’t Know About Therapy - Bonus Fact: Therapy is Worth the Effort
Undergoing therapy isn’t always a cakewalk. Hopefully there will be several moments of progress both small and large, but those may also be accompanied by feelings of nervousness, awkwardness, and maybe even periods of confusion.
As you enter the process, knowing that there may be an occasional bump along the way can help you keep rolling toward achieving your mental health goals.
The points laid out above are also not meant to be negative in nature - just unexpected. The media often shapes how we imagine certain situations that we didn’t personally experience (yet).
The great news is that mental health therapy can change your life for the better in countless ways. As my clients advance in their personal counseling journey, it is common for them to feel proud of the progress they see. Together, we celebrate the triumphs that often follow the hard work done inside and outside of the therapy office.
Maybe I’m biased as I witness how people’s lives improve through therapy all the time. But I have to say, I totally recommend it!
At LaunchPad Counseling, we help children and adults overcome barriers that keep them stuck, so that everyone can experience fulfilling relationships and a more positive outlook on life. We offer In-Person therapy in Richmond VA, and Online Counseling across Virginia. If we can be of help to you, please reach out!
